Your Worst Critic
Living life with mental illness can turn you into your own worst enemy. You can become your own worst critic, questioning every decision you make. It’s a very terrible place to live, in this constant battle with yourself. Every single action you make instantly becomes the wrong choice, you fail, you don’t pass go, don’t collect 200 dollars (monopoly humor). Fighting against yourself is bad enough, but sometimes other people will pile on top of your already wobbly confidence, and it will come crashing down. One of the major effects of having mental illness from a young age, is that you really have no self esteem. You don’t even really know what it’s like to have any self esteem.
Personally, I’ve fought with these demons every single second of my life. My depression and anxiety make every single choice I make feel like life or death. Often with my writing, I’m wondering if I’m making things worth reading. I am so unsure of myself, writing being one of my few talents, I wonder whether or not it’s even worth posting. Luckily enough, I have people who enjoy my writing, and that brings me so much solace. I am so grateful that I am able to put my writing out there, and have people enjoy it.
However, if you’re one of the many people that are extra critical of themselves, first thing you should know is that you’re not alone. I know that it won’t probably help, but almost everyone is harder on themselves than others. I’m not a fan of the, “well other people have it worse” approach to mental health, so I try to avoid anything close to it as well. Yet, knowing that you are not the only one struggling with your issues can be relieving for some. You also need to know that it’s not the end of the world. If you make a wrong choice, than it’s wrong, and you will eventually get over it. The key is to learn from your mistakes, and not make them again in the future.
I just wanted to take this time to thank you all for affirming my confidence in my writing. I feel like I haven’t been writing great these past few weeks, but you all are still enjoying what I write. If you feel like you are your own worst critic, cut yourself some slack. Things will work themselves out in the long run. Don’t stress the little things today, because they will turn out okay.