What Makes Me Angry

Something that gets me angry every single time I hear it, is people talking about someone who has passed. I know that I must sound pretty evil if I get angry by people talking about their loved ones having passed, but hear me out, it will make sense I swear. When someone passes, it is expected for their loved ones to grieve, that I understand. It’s when people that may have known of the person begin to say what a wonderful friend they were, when they ever even spoke to each other. It’s when someone hated the person while they were alive, but loved them now that they’re gone.

For example, there was this kid in my town, probably was around 18 years old, who was a troublemaker and all around rowdy teenager. He passed away after a freak accident in a fight where he was struck from behind and broke his neck. Now I never even heard of the kid before he passed away, but I can imagine there were some people that didn’t like him. Yet, as soon as he passed, social media was flooded with how great a person he was, and how many people miss him. I know I sound like a jerk, but continue reading, it will make more sense in a minute

As some of you may or may not know, I tried to kill myself when I was 17 years old. Not the smartest thing I’ve ever done, but depression will force you to believe it after long enough. I was a loner in high school, not many friends, and the ones I was close with, didn’t know about my mental health. I mean I didn’t even really know about my mental health back then. So, tried to kill myself at 17, luckily I survived, but I had put my suicide note on social media. Long story short, there were some people I was angry enough with that I wanted them to see my suicide note. So, after an ambulance ride and a hospital stay later, I get back home and check my social media. When I tell you there was a massive outpouring of support, I am telling you the truth. People I had never even spoken with, sending their prayers and good wishes for me. At the time I was blown away by these people, some of which hated me, and it was nice to see all this support. However, a week later, I wasn’t hearing anything anymore, no more prayers or good wishes, absolutely nothing. It’s like I suddenly didn’t matter anymore, because those that reached out did so, so that their conscious was clear. It may just be the cynic in me, but it infuriates me when I see people being kind just because someone is gone. Why do they have to suddenly be so fake? Why do they have to pretend to care? I feel like it’s an insult to the people who truly cared about the person who passed. I don’t know it might just be the cynic in me, but I always feel upset that people feel like they have to have cared for someone who has died. I just don’t like fake people I suppose.

Yours,

Wolfgang

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2 Responses

  1. Katie says:

    It’s frustrating. An old high school friend passed when we were 22, I had lost contact with him over the last few years (he went to university, I had a baby) but we were very close in high school. At the funeral there were other kids from our school there, kids that had bullied and tormented both of us for years, saying how wonderful he was etc. I felt so angry with them for turning up, was it their way of making peace with themselves or were they just trying to look good? *sigh*

    • alanwolfgang says:

      That’s what always bothers me, I have a predisposition that lends me to believe that people always have an alterior motive to what they do. So I can never be sure if their actions are genuine or to serve their own purpose.

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