The Journey To Success

If I were to think of my younger self, and how far I have come since I first got thrown into the world of mental health, it is actually quite amazing what I’ve done. At 17 years old, I tried to kill myself, quite seriously as well. I had taken over 150 sleeping pills, wrote a suicide note, and planned to go to bed, never to wake up. Luckily for me, I have some people that love me, and they saw the note I had pasted on social media, and immediately called the police. It’s funny, I think, because how mad I was at whoever called the police for saving my life. While I’m not yet happy with my life, I am grateful that hey made the call that ultimately saved my life.

However, I can’t help but still be angry at them, as the consequences of my actions that day have changed my life forever. I was expelled from high school, and went to receive my diploma from a specialty high school designed for people like me. While that in itself is a great thing to exist, I feel that I’ve lost a great deal of opportunities because of it. Yet, here I am, still clawing my way through life, having nothing handed to me, having to fight for every single thing that I earn. What I’ve learned through this experience, is that I had a mental illness, a disease of my brain, that made me want to die. It’s not that I wasn’t strong enough to handle the obstacles that life dropped in my way, it’s that I was sick. I think my favorite saying that I discovered since I started blogging has been the movement Sick Not Weak. There is such power in those three little words, and it is very simple at the same time. I am to this day, still sick, but improving through hard work, medications, and weekly therapy. The road is still not an easy one, but it’s one that I’ve decided to take out of sheer stubbornness, and inability to give up. I would love to just hang up my mental health hat, not deal with it, but life doesn’t work that way. Things would only get worse for me, and ultimately cost me my life. It’s kind of like treading water, and no matter how tired you get, you have to keep your head above water. Unfortunately for me, and people like me, no one is coming to our rescue. Sure there are people that will help us along the way, but this is a journey that we must resolve ourselves to make, because no one will make it for us.

In every single one of us is a success story just waiting to happen. While I certainly am not in a place to brag about now, I have this feeling that I’m finally on the right path. I hope that one day, I’ll be able to write another article like this, and it will be from a place where I can hold my head high, and say that I made it.

Thank you all for reading,

Wolfgang

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