Special Edition 100th Post: More About Me
So, we’ve done it. We’ve hit 100 posts on The Smiles We Bear. I wanted to do something special for the hundredth post, but I find myself in a bind for time and energy. I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but I haven’t exactly been writing the best quality articles of late, and I apologize about that. I was planning to do a blogging award nomination article today, but like I said, time and energy have not been on my side. So, instead you can look forward to the nominations article this weekend; but today I will be writing a small article about myself. I want you all to get to know me better, so that you can understand a little better where my articles are coming from.
So, as you probably know, Alan Wolfgang is not my real name, it’s a pseudonym that I use to protect myself from some of the internet’s less reputable inhabitants. Because as you all know, there is still an incredible stigma surrounding mental health. So I write under a pen name to protect myself, while still getting my voice out there. It’s not the most noble way of doing it, but it gets the job done. Af for me, I’m in my mid 20’s, quite young to be writing as if I know everything, but I don’t claim to. I suffer from depression and anxiety, and have been since I was probably about 10 or 11. So I have some degree of experience to speak from. I am the oldest child in my family, which you can imagine had caused me some unneeded stress to be a good role model to my 2 younger siblings. Needless to say, I haven’t lived up to the expectations placed on me (mostly by myself) to be a good older brother, a good son, or a good person in general. I know that I am generally harder on myself than I should be, but I feel as though I must live up to expectations that any other person would have. It’s with these expectations that I often forget that I’m clinically depressed, and I don’t function as “normal” people would. Alas, I still try to aim for the moon when it comes to my own personal ambitions.
I currently am single, not for the lack of trying. Relationships are a constant stresser in my life, because I have this desire to love and to be loved. It’s not something that can be satiated by platonic, or familial love, I’ve found that only romance can ease the ache in my heart. It’s not as though I am dying to be in a relationship, funny story though, as my most serious suicide attempt was primarily due to loneliness. I figure it is what it is, and that there’s no use in forcing it, because it will happen eventually.
I myself am an animal lover, I prefer cats over dogs, because the love that the cats show for their owners is more genuine in my opinion. They’re not constantly super excited and happy to see you, but when they care for you, you most certainly know about it. While I am currently unable to take care of animals, due to the fact that I can barely take care of myself, I still have 2 cats and a dog. Although I still live at home, something I’m not proud of, so I get help in taking care of the animals that we do have.
If you guys and gals have any other questions for me, feel free to ask, I am, for the most part, an open book. Glad we could spend this time to get to know each other a little more.